What are the lowest calorie light beers? Michelob Ultra, MGD 64, Beck's Premier and Amstel Light. And Butt Light.

What are the lowest calorie light beers? Thought you might ask that. So I went ahead and put together a fully-leaded list of beers that won't fill you up. Or fatten you up.

The Four Lowest Calorie Light Beers*

*That are available at your nearby grocery store (that I could find through Google)

Michelob Ultra
Website: Light-golden in color with subtle notes of citrus, this low-carb American-style light lager is made from 2-row Munich malts and European Select hops giving it a clean, refreshing body and finish.

Blog comment: I typically enjoy a great American IPA, but I thought I’d explore some of the lighter, pilsner-style beers which are so popular in bars and Applebee’s restaurants throughout the world. I’m just kidding, this beer is only good for people trying to ween themselves off wine coolers.

ABV 4.2%, 95 calories, 2.6g carbs, 0.6g protein and 0.0g fat, per 12 oz bottle

MGD 64 (a.k.a. Miller Genuine Draft Light)
Website: MGD 64’s ability to deliver so much refreshment with so few calories and carbs is truly something to behold. You can enjoy the cirsp, clean flavor (with no lingering aftertaste) and fresh aroma containing malt and hop cues. Boasting merely 64 calories and only 2.4 carbs, MGD 64 won’t burden you with that heavy “other light beer” feeling.

Blog comment: So, bought an 18-pack, and I’ve had 14 of these so far today. I should be dead drunk. Instead, I’m considering going for a jog. 64 calories and 3% is great for Utah and sorority girls, but from a company that sells ‘The High Life’? Not so much.

ABV 2.8%, 64 calories, 2.4g carbs, per 12 oz bottle.

Beck's Premier Light
Website: This light pilsner has the taste signature of a Beck’s, with a calorie count that’s as refreshing as the beer itself. You’ll find a crisp, light experience that lives up to the Beck’s name and reputation in every bottle. It’s taste you can count on, even if you’re not counting calories.

Blog comment: Taste...like having sex in a canoe, and if I need to explain why, you haven't been hanging around beer that much.

ABV 2.3%, 64 calories, 4.5g carbs, 0.5g protein and 0.0g fat, per 12 oz bottle

Amstel Light
Website: In 1980, Amstel Light was born. It is now a leading imported light lager in the United States. As you might expect from one brewed with the spirit of Amsterdam, the unique selection of raw materials and an intensive fermenting process are what set Amstel Light apart. The result is a special light lager containing only 3.5% alcohol and approximately 35% fewer calories than regular lager beer. Its popularity proves that great taste isn’t sacrificed along the way, making it “One Dam Good BieR.”

Blog comment: Great lite beer ... take a good swig of great beer, your choice. Follow with big chaser of good water. Remember what the beer tasted like. Repeat as often as necessary or until you can't take in any more liquid.

ABV 3.5%, 95 calories, 5.0g carbs, 1.0g protein and 0.0g fat, per 12 oz bottle

My opinion? I've tried all four, and, despite the varying marketing campaigns, they each do the same two things: keep you sober and keep you running to the bathroom.

My advice? Drink Guinness. Per 12 ounces, it only contains 125 calories, which, according to Wikipedia, is "fewer than skimmed milk or orange juice and most other non-light beers." And most importantly, it's reputed as a "meal in a glass." A meal that's only 125 calories?! That'll keep you looking svelte when you walk onto the dance floor at your family's next wedding reception, busting a move to Young MC's "Bust A Move" in close quarters to your hot cousin (not related by blood). Good thing Guinness won't keep you sober—'cause, dude, she's still your cousin.

Toucan Sam's Irish uncle, Toucan Patrick, pioneer of the all liquid diet.

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