It was before high school, though, when I was attending Millard Fillmore Junior High, that I was introduced to the only thing—besides the love scene between Maverick and Charlie in Top Gun—to ever simultaneously take my breath away and tempt me to scream like a schoolgirl. Fitting, because the movie that first showed me Jennifer Lopez's booty was Anaconda, the tag line of which, featured on the movie poster, was "When you can't breathe, you can't scream."
| You can't scream when you can't breathe. And you can't breathe inside a 40 foot long anaconda. So I'm assuming you can't scream while being digested within a snake's intestines. If you could, though, and that snake was in a forest, would your scream make a sound? |
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Roger Ebert, one of the few movie critics to write a positive review, gave the movie 3 1/2 stars. I'm guessing his rating was a sum, adding together his rating for the entire movie with his rating for the scene featuring J-Lo's backside—a negative 1/2 for the former, and 4 for the latter.
Which scene am I talking about? The one that shows Jenny from the Block in a tantalizing almost see-through, gloves-the-body-like-Gary-Payton white dress—the same one that had me sweating in seventh grade, thinking about it while I was pedaling around the block on my neon green Huffy with Jose Canseco hitting on the spokes. And, thankfully, the same one that has been uploaded to YouTube.
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